So here’s the T,
We can all agree that 2016 was terrible for almost everyone. Some good things happened of course, (Frank Ocean finally released his album after a million years and it was definitely worth the wait) but so many bad things happened that seemed to overshadow the good. Yes, Donald Trump actually won the presidential election and yes, we are sadly losing the ability to call Obama our president. So many great artists and legends passed away and it seemed like everyday, something tragic happened. No, it wasn’t all just a really bad dream; it was our reality. Tragic. At least we had some great music to get us through it.
On a more personal note, 2016 actually started off pretty decently for me. I started a tradition two years ago where I would write a personal letter to myself on January 1st, reflecting back on the past year and where I am in that moment. I don’t open or read the letter until December 31st of that year and it’s always interesting to see how much has changed and also, what has stayed the same. By far, last year was the most optimistic I had been since I was young. I felt like I was finally coming into my own, leaving the awkward stages of teenage-hood and blossoming into an adult. I was hopeful for the new beginnings and new chances 2016 would bring. Looking back on last year’s letter, I had so many aspirations and plans to make the year truly great for myself. One problem, God had other plans.
September was the beginning of what would become a very long semester of stress. I’m the type of person who has to know exactly what I’m getting myself into and know each and every detail of something before I get comfortable with it. I like to think I’m super adaptable, but it’s definitely conditional. As long as the change isn’t personal or too close to home, I can handle it. In classes, in a job, I’m great at adapting to new situations. When things start getting uprooted and changed in my own life however, that’s when I start to get stressed. I’m also not very good at letting go and moving on from things that are important to me. This past semester has been the HARDEST time of my life so far. 2016 brought to end a very long-term relationship and took some other opportunities right out of my hands. Most of the things that I was working towards didn’t seem to be working out, I still had no idea what I wanted to do after college, and I truly felt like I had no control over what was happening in my life. By the time December came around, I couldn’t’ wait to go on winter break and hide out for the rest of the year at home and that’s exactly what I did.
The month of December was all about healing and coming to terms with the end of certain chapters in my life. It was definitely not easy, but being at home around my family and having discussions about my future and the goals I have for myself really helped me see things clearly. I’m only 21. I’m still young and though my life isn’t where I thought it would be, that doesn’t mean that I don’t have the chance to have the life I imagined for myself. People will come in and out of your life for a season and a reason. Sometimes, their purpose is to get you to the next point in your journey, and sometimes they are just meant to teach you a lesson. I still have time to figure out what I want to do with my career and make plans for after I graduate. I’m learning how to accept the changes I experience in my life and not allowing my past to negatively affect my future. I can’t go back and change the course of my life so I have to accept where I am now and appreciate how far I’ve come.